Want to be a “paradigm-shifting cultural explorer, peacekeeper, and mental health champion”? Then try some “listening as rebellion”
Photo by Dylann Hendricks | 딜란 on Unsplash
We’re very happy to cross-post this Medium blog from Christine Charitonos the founder of RAW, the vibrant London story-telling weekly event. Christine is ambitious for its practice of radical “listening”, as a way for communities to find a different kind of agency for themselves—maybe even a new form of democracy.
Ears wide open: listening as an act of rebellion
The greatest common ground we have is our shared humanity. On the art of listening as a pathway to a global culture of coherence, collaboration and wellbeing.
It’s tough these days to find the balance between being a conscientious, caring person, informed world citizen, and sane, productive human. The state of the world has us in a state of perma-fight or flight, with a never-ending stream of destruction and chaos, scored with its own cacophony of opinions and outcries. You’d be forgiven for looking for a way to channel your shock, anger, fear, or helplessness.
I’m here to propose a not-so-radical, radical solution to the question ‘what can one do from a distance?’ And suggest that it’s actually, ‘Don’t do. Don’t speak. Don’t raise your voice. The world needs us to listen to each other.’
And I’ll tell you why. In a time of never-ending discord, developing the art of listening is an act of rebellion against a culture of hatred, fear and division. And a rebellion against the oversimplification of a complex world into just ‘us and them’.
Listening is also the raw material for that near-mythical bridge to cultural harmony that everyone is groping for in the darkness of these days. Here’s how I arrived at these conclusions.
The world is brimming with noise, and I can’t hear myself think. Can you? Ah, but I find solace in the words of Fred Rogers, that most amicable of humans, embodiment of kindness, and US television personality: “Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors.”
So I put away the phone, I switch off from the news as an act of self-love, and I have the mental space to remember: ‘Hang on a minute. I created a forum for listening. For discovering our shared humanity. I’ve been building that raw material for the bridge to cultural harmony. And, funnily enough, it is RAW — the uncensored storytelling night that’s been breaking the London mould of entertainment for nearly 2 years now.
Is this the beginning of love? Not a sugar-coated, Hollywood, Hallmark, love hearts version. But a masks dropped, a blistered, bruised, scuffed, made it through the flames, layers peeled away kind of love. Where people are themselves and listen, rather than wait their turn to speak. And all are seen, accepted, and understood.
You see, somehow we’re back at this point where we’re repeating the mistakes of the past — and yet every generation seems to think they have something new to say. If that was the case, we’d be inhabiting a very different world.
That’s why, maybe it’s not about what we have to say, so much as having the courage to listen.
I see this with the RAWs — it genuinely takes courage to listen to people who may say things that are uncomfortably true and close to the bone. Touching, moving, or even angry. But the mere fact of holding space for that person to be seen, heard and understood, is cathartic. Transformative, even.
RAW on the theme of ACCEPTANCE
Now, as things get increasingly polarised and weighed down by the complexity of -isms that bear the weight of history, the intractable problems of the world can be simplified if we pare things back to the plain facts of our shared humanity.
The age of conquest and extraction of resources is a relic of the past. We’re being dragged, kicking and screaming into a world of competing narratives, a world that is multivalent, cross-cultural, with mixed populations, and where resources and information flow freely around the world.
It’s time to stand on our own two feet, and take steps forward with ears wide open.
Reweaving the world through the cultural tapestry of listening
Taking a step away from the triggering effects of the news also allows me to have perspective on this time in our species’ history. Could this be a weird adolescent period as homo sapiens figures out what it means to be a globalised, single organism called humanity?
Maybe all this virtue signalling, and keyboard warfare is a grappling with how to be an adult, global culture — something never done before. We’re being thrust into an awareness of the interconnectedness of our world and our struggles, while we desperately try to remain siloed in our sense of identity.
The need for catharsis is real — and it hasn’t happen by shouting into the internet void. It can only happen in a shared space, with real humans acknowledging and recognising our own human experience.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” —Rumi
We were all woefully ill-prepared for the onslaught of information that came with the internet, apps, and smartphones, and the culture shifting, place transforming, inequality-inducing impact of inbound foreign investment that came with the freeing up of markets and flows of money.
People too flow like information, or try to — as global instability grows and they seek out better fortunes. But are we prepared to understand each other amid these rapidly shifting landscapes?
If trying to preserve cultural identity is at the heart of most struggles, what do cultures with listening at their heart have to say about the practice? For them it is an art and a practice of resilience, enriching life, giving meaning, and strengthening societal norms.
Within these cultural treasures we can find the tools to reweave our tattered social fabric.
In Japan, the concept of Ich i-go Ichi-e, or “one time, one meeting,” emphasises treasuring the unrepeatable nature of a moment. It encourages the art of listening as a way to cherish each unique encounter — reminding people to cherish any gathering that they may take part in, because any moment in life cannot be repeated.
In a culture where precision and subtlety reign supreme, listening is a dance of the senses, and it’s a vital part of maintaining respect and social harmony.
On the other side of the globe, the Navajo Nation in the United States hold listening as a key pillar of their cultural heritage. Their oral storytelling tradition, passed down through generations, exemplifies the power of listening as a means to preserve history and values. It’s not just about words but the wisdom that accompanies them.
Over in Africa, we find the concept of Ubuntu, which roughly translates to “I am because we are.” This underscores the interdependence of individuals within a community. To truly embrace Ubuntu is to listen deeply to the stories, struggles, and dreams of others. It’s a lesson in empathy and cultural cohesion that can teach the world a thing or two.
Can we take a page from the books of these cultures and bring listening nights to the global mainstream? Instead of virtue signalling, could we make listening a virtue and the norm of a global culture?
Listening nights for dark days
As we continue to navigate this bleak time of breakdown of old systems, it’s critical we find ways to build bridges between people and cultures. While the world is marred by division, the art of listening can unite us in ways nothing else can — and create a chain reaction and ripple effect of goodwill that, in its fullest expression, can turn wars into antiquities, and relics of a more primitive time.
None of this is a utopian vision. I’ll explain why.
My initiation into the art of listening as a refuge from hardship, and finding safety in connection started as a survival strategy. What began as preferring to talk to strangers in search of distraction from, and resonance with, my own woes, ended up becoming the world’s longest focus group on happiness, purpose, and mental health.
Listening was a gateway to mental wellbeing, teaching me I’m not alone, and I don’t have as much to fear. It was also a lifeline that pulled me from the abyss of misunderstanding and conflict.
Don’t get me wrong, listening is an art with nuances and subtleties. If you get good enough to tune into what’s being said behind the words, you can hear an entire symphony of unspoken meaning. This is true understanding.
Scaling up RAWs, and other innovative approaches to cultivating listening, can disrupt the social fabric like few things can. Society continues to be plagued by the turmoil of anxiety, stress, and general chaos caused by virtue signalling, self-promotion and self-absorption — yet the ability to listen has become a rare artefact, rarer than a polite internet comment section.
Being a good listener is an act of rebellion. It’s a form of resistance against the tide of narcissism and hate — and turning away from the addiction to the war porn streaming through our screens. It’s saying, “I choose to tune into your story instead of my feed.”
Listening as peacekeeping. RAW as a practice of peace
You see, by taking a break from “the socials”, I also realised the RAWs are a form of cultural diplomacy, where the creator and the arts act as ambassadors. It’s an approach that Hollywood has really nailed, and used the power of ‘soft power’ — as opposed to hard, military power — to spread the influence of America’s culture around the world.
But in our form of cultural diplomacy, ordinary humans represent themselves and the rawness of human experience, acting as ambassadors of the flawed and resilient humanity that we are.
Unlike other storytelling nights, RAW is not for notable personalities. It is not a slam. No one is competing and there are no prizes.
It’s an uncensored and immersive storytelling night, where audiences get to see human experience through the lens of different themes. In the process, they discover shared values — the starting point for any cultural change.
The WDN onion of culture. Diagram borrowed from the book ‘Cultures and Organizations — software of the mind’ by Hofstede, Hofstede and Minkov.
I generally hate onions with a passion. But this one breaks down how what we value filters through all layers of culture. RAW helps to shape what’s at the heart of it all — and, being immersive, sits across all tiers.
As a 3rd culture kid who was born and raised in New York, before moving back to Cyprus with my parents as a pre-teen— I never neatly fell into any category of ‘national tribe’, and my sense of identity was always more complicated than simplistic.
As such, I’ve always existed at the intersections of cultures. Most people perceive and interact with the world through the lens of their singular cultural background. But people who are 3rd culture, and therefore don’t exist within a single cultural identity, have learned to see the human behind the labels, and hear the story behind the first impressions.
It makes me wonder, could listening become the new peacekeeping? Did maintaining peace by brute force ever truly work? Perhaps what’s been missing all this time from the arsenal of cultural diplomacy’s soft power has been this lost art.
Imagine if every leader, diplomat, and neighbour didn’t rush to take sides — but was a master listener. A world where every dispute was resolved not with arms, but with empathetic ears, where each voice was heard and understood. It is the nature of listening to remind us of our shared humanity.
Mental health meets culture through a very RAW lens
It was during this break from my socials, feeling frazzled and in need of connection, that I phoned an old friend. I listened to what he was going through, put myself in his shoes, doing mental gymnastics as my ears helped me balance and somersault my way through the conversation.
When you listen actively, your brain is doing double duty, processing information and deciphering emotional cues. It’s the mental equivalent of juggling flaming torches — intense, but oh, so rewarding.
But it doesn’t stop there. Listening is a grand gesture of empathy. It’s like saying, “Hey, I care about what’s going on in your life, and I want to understand your perspective.”
And guess what? Practicing empathy can actually boost your own mental health. It’s a win-win. Feeling lighter and seen, I could finally focus, and got back to the business of being a conscientious human with a vision for the world — with renewed enthusiasm.
In fact, all of What Does Not [the social enterprise behind RAW’s public events] exists to make mental health provision accessible and cool. You see, I’ll let you into a little secret. The founding imperative has always been, wouldn’t healthy happy humans create a healthy, regenerative culture?
Even the reason I created RAWs was because I found free mental health services were desperately lacking. On one occasion that I phoned Samaritans, the advice I received was ‘go for a walk.’
That may work for some. But how much more impactful, to know there are safe spaces of belonging, connection and opportunity where you can find support from a community? A place where you can be seen, heard, comforted, inspired, and have fun?
Having witnessed the transformation of people who come along, and the growth of relationships between seemingly unlikely individuals who met at RAWs has been the most rewarding — and gives me hope that learning to listen in new and innovative ways is central to a better future.
Because it teaches us to remain open to learn, unlearn, and relearn. In a world yearning for unity and understanding, this process has to be ongoing.
Try this deep listening malarkey next time someone opens up to you. Listen to the meaning behind the words, park your preconceptions — and try to understand. Such a simple act will make you a paradigm-shifting cultural explorer, peacekeeper, and mental health champion.
Original blog on Medium. Click here for details of the next RAW/What Does Not night in November